It’s been a month since my last doctor’s visit at NNI. And how apt it is that June is indeed Migraine Awareness Month. Four days after my 36th birthday, I’m still up and kickin’ and off the Amitriptyline – by choice. Let me try and recap the experience I had since that last visit and that last pill I popped on a nightly basis.
As stated in my 15 May post, I wasn’t told by the doctor that what he’s prescribed me as the preventive migraine meds was indeed an anti-depressant meds. It came as a surprise to me but after a couple of read on the meds, I decided to give it a go.
At the same time as I was starting on the meds, life was pretty ‘tricky’ for me. So while my mind was calm with the migraines, I was very much bothered with the things that was happening in my life. What started off with a quarter of the blue pill, then to a half the next night, then one full pill and two pills for the rest of the bottle – well, that didn’t turn out so right for me. The only good thing that happened was how easily I fell asleep on those nights. Night sleep was deep and restful. However, I can’t say the same about the morning after..
Each morning, I’d get up with a very muddled mind. Body’s rested but I just got way too sleepy! For the first three days, all I could do was just lay low, lie down, move really slow and gawd, I think slow too! I could feel my senses getting very anxious and jittery. I’d snap at anything and everything.. My negative innerchatter just got louder every single hour.. I knew I was going deep into my ‘dark abyss days’ again – which I didn’t want to at all!
With MisterHubster being away out of town, it was indeed a very challenging few days for me.
Out of all that muddled, crazy, sleepy days, I knew I just had to get out and do something to clear my mind. I did what I truly enjoy doing – took a ‘Secret Rendezvous’ with MiChicas for a relaxing 3 day trip to Damansara, Kuala Lumpur! *YEAY!*
That trip was such a liberating trip for me. This ain’t the first. I’ve always loved taking trips with just MiChicas. Let’s just say I love to Live in the Moment! *lol* – Okay, post on that trip will be up soon and with lotsa pics at KidZania too! 😉
Anyhoo.. Days after that trip, I notice my mood was getting better – perhaps I was just getting a hang of how to manage my erratic mood. But it’s the rash that finally made me put an end at this pill-popping thing.
Just take a look at this!
And oh! Did I mention that I experienced a bad case of dry mouth too? It’s a good thing that I’ve read up on the pills before so I kinda had a good gauge of the side effects that bothered me then.
So, after about nine days of amitriptyline, I decided to end my ‘adventure’ with the so-called preventive meds. I know for sure that didn’t work for me. I didn’t even take much of the Diclofenac or Zomig given by NNI. I just went back to the usual panadols, nurofen etc.
It’s been about thirty-three days since that doctor’s visit. What an emotional rollercoaster days it’s been. But all is calm and good now. I dunno if it’s a good hormonal day today or it’s been the result of my reframing / visioning / law of attraction / mindshifting work, all I know is.. I was meant to go through that path. It’s all part of life’s process that I couldn’t skip. I know I’m blessed and thank Allah for what’s been given to me.
Though I may not know what all these ‘adventure’ is leading me to, I know it’s all meant to be. Oh did I mention that.. just the other night, I dreamt that I gave my NNI doctor a dressing down for prescribing me anti-depressants without explaining me in a more detailed manner as I wish he would. – That I definitely will let him know in my next visit.
As all meds react differently to every patient, one thing I’ve learn from all of this is.. If we don’t take responsibility to our own health, then no one would – even if those of whom we think would be in a better position or better educated to decide for us, it is still our own decision, our own life.
We’ve reached the half-way point of June. What more can be done to help create Migraine Awareness to those around us? Well, as a migraineur myself, all I’d wish for is truly, a little more compassion and understanding. At my most painful moment, I may seem to be all ‘quiet’ or to some I may even seem to be like one rude bitch. That truly was never my intention but just merely how I try to contain the pain. If only you knew how I’d wonder each day, “Will it be a migrainey day for me today?” – which I’m working on to ease it with the EFT, affirmation, LOA, clean eating, living actively, taking note of my triggers etc.
I know my case ain’t the worst but my wish for this Migraine Awareness Month, is for a better support – for the migraineurs and those living , caring for them.. “So doctors, please don’t just prescribe us pills like their candies.. We don’t want candies. We want better healing.. Please?” – A more holistic approach is what I’m looking for now..
And yes.. All this has got to begin with that man/woman in the mirror. What we feel inside will be revealed on the outside – it’s all connected. Very Yin/Yan.
So my dear readers, I wish you all well.
It’s a very hazy day in Singapore today.. but let’s not forget to appreciate the other good things we have in our lives – wherever we are, whatever it may be.
Till next post.. take care everyone.
xoxo – @justbeingarlyn